I agree that moms can be overprotective in the D process. Afterall, she is your mom and not your H's mom. She is fighting for you in a way that she knows. I am glad that my parents did not know about the A. My MIL does but she is supportive but not intrusive. It all depends on personalities.
H is probably thinking with "his own logic", "Well, if I can build up this NEW family ASAP, then it will make this new relationship RIGHT". Funny how twisted their logic can become.
H is probably thinking with "his own logic", "Well, if I can build up this NEW family ASAP, then it will make this new relationship RIGHT".
I think this is a really accurate statement, OC. Based on a few odd comments, I get the feeling that stbx thinks that he can try out a "real" R w/ow and still have the possibility to re-marry me if it doesn't work out.
That's why you have to disconnet entirely. Aren't you meeting guys? My gosh Olive, when you are in the midst of D you need to start flirting, meeting guys and thinking about who you plan to date once the D is final (even if you are not planning to date). And I'm not talking about lying to make him jealous. I'm talking about wading in the water to see who is there and making some male friends! He needs to KNOW he's losing you. Get some guy to call you at home.... get many guys to call you. All of them "just friends" of course
But he doesn't need to know that. Your life needs to be a mystery to him. Don't tell him ANYTHING. He still lives with you, make him miserable. I believe he will be horribly jealous in spite of having OW. Have fun with this!!!!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I've always had a tough time detaching. Probably because stbx tries to reel me back in all the time. Sadly.. it still somewhat works. He's Mr Nice Guy one day and then gets so cold toward me. I do, however, leave out ALL details of my current life. He likes to make small talk about what is happening with him and I just nod and say "uh huh"...
Right now he's trying to intimidate me regarding the finances of the D. I'm sure he'll do the same when it comes to splitting time w/D4. No amicable D like lwb... it just sucks...
oh.. and, I just took down all of our wedding pics.. I know.. kind of late for that but, I had them up in case ow happened to be over for a "visit"!
Right now he's trying to intimidate me regarding the finances of the D. I'm sure he'll do the same when it comes to splitting time w/D4. No amicable D like lwb... it just sucks...
Well, yeah lwb is prob. going to have an amicable divorce, but I suspect that is b/c her H is still in love with her! (Not surprising of course!) My H is an L and we've already had a couple fights about that kind of thing; I am going to try very hard to remember in the future just telling him we'll let the lawyers handle it or whatever. That has saved me already from a couple of fights with my H.
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oh.. and, I just took down all of our wedding pics.. I know.. kind of late for that but, I had them up in case ow happened to be over for a "visit"!
I love that!!!! Aw, do you have to take them down??? Karen
I am going to try very hard to remember in the future just telling him we'll let the lawyers handle it or whatever. That has saved me already from a couple of fights with my H.
I tried that one and he got mad about that, too!!!
By the way, lwb, I feel sooo immature compared to you and the way you are handling things.
My friend, stay tuned.
1. I am not dealing with OW anymore. If anything, I will be dealing with random women who H might tell that he is either already divorced or a signature away. If I was still dealing with OW, I would have lost my mind.
2. I have not had to do anything officially yet. I have not been through paperwork, lawyers, anything like that.
3. I have not had the heartbreaking reality of missing my kids when they are with H overnight, or for long periods.
oh.. and, I just took down all of our wedding pics.. I know.. kind of late for that but, I had them up in case ow happened to be over for a "visit"!
I've got a better idea....
Go get one of those sexy boudoir shots and put that one up for OW to see during one of her visits. Then, for H, get one of you with lots of cleavage and a group of attractive guys (co-workers or friends he doesn't know... guys at a bar) and put that up!!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
My H is an L and we've already had a couple fights about that kind of thing; I am going to try very hard to remember in the future just telling him we'll let the lawyers handle it or whatever. That has saved me already from a couple of fights with my H.
Karen