H is having affair after all - part 3

[Evie]

Thanks girls for your postive vibes and comments. I really do appreciate it.

The week was going well, H wanted to sit down and discuss solictors and moving forward, which i admit i am no rush to do.

I said i couldn't sit down this week as i'm busy and i also didn't want to discuss things whilst teh kids were about, so H suggested we go out to a pub, which works for me as its neutral terretory.

I have a business card back now to use and H said to me - 'lets agree not to spend on the card other than for diesal' - so i said ok. I opened up a bank statement last night and there was a bill for a restuarent and £140.00 printer!! I text h and said it seems unfair when you tell me not to spend on the account but you do.

He phoned me to say he will pay the money back into the accvount for the restaurent, his current account card had been declined and so had used the business card in an emergency, but he said he needed the printer!!

Things got completely out of hand and his usual anger and resentments came up.

It now seems i'm in the wrong for sitting in the house and using delaying tactics to avoid sitting down with him. He said he wanted the printer, but if i needed anything for the business i could have it. I said there is a huge difference between wanting and needing and that he doesn't need a printer as he doesn't run the admin side of the business. He couldn't understand where i was coming from.

He said he wanted the printer to print of photos of the boys on outings when i wasn't there and to make an album up for my xmas present. I replied that i didn't want photos of the boys when I wasn't with them, that he had no idea how hurtful it was to see them doing things that we should have being doing as a family.

He said we failed because we didn't have our weekends away anymore and because of teh girls dad.

Without trying to sound angry or accusationary i said we failed because our R wasn't nurtured, cherished or valued. He said it takes two, i agreed and said i tried but he checked out of the M years ago and that he didn't love me enough to try or to try and talk to me.

He has reconnected with his 'friend' (the one he said he had lost all respect for) and he had listened to him telling him about some friends of his, the h is a gambler and taking drugs and has smashed the house and her car up. H said he thought he was a bas**ard until he listened to what the wife was going through. I couldn't believe it. So its ok to have an A and then resent the fact that your wife is reluctant to leave the home and financially he's struggling? he said loads of other things but this is the gist.

I feel I cant stand up for myself for fear of retribution. I did tell him i felt he had resentment issues and was obvioulsy very angry with me.

God, i feel like total sh*t this morning.