Because if she's not committed to making the marriage work, then she's using you for sex and then you will feel used when she hands you divorce papers.
I strongly suggest you communicate with her. Look back there was a post I suggested three things to say,...
Something like, listen, you've been giving me a lot of mixed signals. One day you ask me to lie down with you or stay and eat with you or rub your back or visit with your out-of-town relatives, and now this. And then you tell me you've seen a lawyer and are preparing divorce papers. Then when I politely decline dinner or miss your call you get angry.
Why don't you tell me what's going on inside you?
And then just really listen.
Tell her look, I don't want the marriage we had either. But if you'd like to work on a new and improved marriage let me know. But if you want to get divorced and just have me for companionship off and on, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I want more.
Then give her a passionate kiss and take off. Let her think about that for a while.
