It's only in the last year (two at most) he's been doing this, and it's not like it happened over night, it's been a gradual change. There is something deep inside of him that he needs to work on that has nothing to do with me- and I understand that. Getting him to realize that is a different story.
It's a form of the stress that has been compounded over the last two years due to various events that have been happening. He never was this way prior. Or I should say, he handled his stress much much differently than he does now. It's a long history that one can not sum up in one post, and just assume that all that you read here is everything that has happened... it's a process a very long and lengthy set of complications. You can never just pick, choice and assume that what one is going through is like any other person.
Actually, in all fairness... there is a priority that does exist. You have a foundation that exist that ALL children rely on, just as you can't build a house on a sand foundation, hence the house will crumble as soon as it rains. No you use cement, something solid. Just like the house, children need a solid example of what a marriage consist of. His children do not have that... both mothers also have other children from other men that are now gone in their lives and abandoned their kids, they have no stability and no role models, other than their unmarried mothers and their father, my H. My H and I are/were the only role models, the example of what a marriage consist of. When you do not put your marriage first... this is what happens... the foundation colapes and the house falls down. You are neglecting your spouse over your children. After that, yes your children can come first, because their is no marriage- so yes, his priority is his children, now- but it was always that, and that is one of the fatal issues that has plagued our marriage- and many many many others. It didn't start out this way. The principals that apply is your Marriage first, then your Children and then your Career. And it has nothing to do with step parenting...
I do not have friends because I'm a Introvert, it has nothing to do with my H. I prefer to be home. I prefer to do my own things. I have no friends because I do not feel that people make me who I am... I make me who I am. I have a couple of acquaintances. My best friend used to be my H, and that is/was all that I needed, but again, a process happened. A gradual change happened, and it's something that HE has to work on. I also left the work force in order to take care of my H's children, there simply was no physical social network. I am here, to learn based on others situations and take stock in what they have and have not tried.
My past relationship of abuse, is just that in the past. I bring it up solely because I can relate to others and help them shift their mind set, if possible. I take comfort in allowing to open myself to others so that they may feel comfortable to share with me.
I hope that helped answer some of your questions...
