(((Sara))) just checking in. Glad you had a good time with your cousin.
Have a great day. Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Last night when it got to be 1030 and I didn't see any sign of H, I drove past OW's house and saw his car parked there. I called him and said that I saw that he had decided to go to her and not me and that I would be going to the lawyer first thing in the morning.
And I did. I went in there this morning and paid the money and talked briefly with my lawyer. She said that she would have the paperwork ready in about a week for me to look over. As soon as I left her office and got into the parking lot, I bawled. It is a very sad day for me.
I realize that a lot of what I am feeling is guilt. I feel awful for being the one filing the divorce. He should be doing this and not me. I just feel really awful and guilty about this whole mess. I know that none of it is my fault. I have looked and looked for reasons why our marriage went the way it did and I haven't found anything. Surely I did something wrong, but I am not finding it.
I just feel so sad....so so so sad.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Surely I did something wrong, but I am not finding it.
Not necessarily true -- at all.
Did Jesus do "something wrong" when Judas betrayed him? I'm not saying you're a saint, Starshyne, but I am saying that wayward behavior can have little -- or even NOTHING -- to do at all with the betrayed spouse.
Your husband may just be morally weak. It happens. It SUKKS, but it happens.
Surely I did something wrong, but I am not finding it.
I just feel so sad....so so so sad.
(((((Starshyne))))) how could wanting to believe and trust the man you love be wrong? You didn't make these decisions, he did. I'm so sorry that it has to be this way and I'm praying for you. You didn't do anything wrong, this is not about you and never has been.
Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
It is not your fault. Did you force him into the A? Did you betray him? You stood for your M and Family. Hang in there honey. You are forcing his hand in a tough love way. I am praying for you.
Puppy, You seem so wise man. Can you read my thread in separated and give me your $0.02?
Thank you everyone. I am going through a "I think it is all my fault" period right now and just need the reminders that it isn't.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
It is not your fault. Did you force him into the A? Did you betray him? You stood for your M and Family. Hang in there honey. You are forcing his hand in a tough love way. I am praying for you.
Puppy, You seem so wise man. Can you read my thread in separated and give me your $0.02?
Eagle,
I just caught up on your thread. In my opinion, your wife is having an affair. Possibly and EA, but also could be a PA. I got that impression from your first 2-3 posts, and I'm stunned that no one else picked up on your counselor's intuition in this regard.
It's not the end of the world -- many of us have survived them, and are here with better marriages. But if she IS seeing another man, then there are some techniques you'll need to apply.
Your wife also seems to be a real Entitlement Princess. I know -- I'm married to one as well.
I'd suggest you start a thread on this, the "Infidelity" forum. While some DBing techniques are the same regardless of the reasons for a spouse wanting to divorce, adultery does bring an entirely different dynamic to the picture.
I don't want to hijack Sara's thread, so I'll wait for you to start one here. I'm never on the "Separated" forum.
Do you all think it would be wise to change my cell phone number? I HATE how the OW has my number. My number was my H's old number and that is why she has it and has called me 3 times during the past 6 months. I also hate that she knows where I live, but that isn't going to be changed. The phone number could be changed.
I also wouldn't give it to my H. I THINK at this point I am not supposed to be talking to him? He would still know the house phone number, so I wouldn't be cutting off all communication with him. He just couldn't text me anymore...which wouldn't be bad.
What do you think?
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Do you all think it would be wise to change my cell phone number? I HATE how the OW has my number. My number was my H's old number and that is why she has it and has called me 3 times during the past 6 months. I also hate that she knows where I live, but that isn't going to be changed. The phone number could be changed.
I also wouldn't give it to my H. I THINK at this point I am not supposed to be talking to him? He would still know the house phone number, so I wouldn't be cutting off all communication with him. He just couldn't text me anymore...which wouldn't be bad.
What do you think?
YES. Ask a trusted third party if they can be a go-between for you and your husband on legal, financial, and other urgent matters.
