Drawing a line and grabbing the seeds!

[cire2]

As usual never speak to soon! Still the ongoing struggle with boys mom and still thinking of the one who brought me to these boards, but did have a reconcilliation with GF, for a bit anyway.

We had been having great interaction together and spending time together. Yesterday she had me over for dinner and told me to bring comfortable clothes as to stay over. This wasn't unusual, staying over, but first time she told me to bring clothes. I asked if I could bring anything to go with dinner and she gave me a list of things which I brought.

Now we had a wonderful time fixing food together, great conversation and playful banter. It was a wonderful meal and was commented by the both of us that this is how things should go between us. We then got comfortable on the couch to enjoy the rest of the evening and everything seemed perfect.

Not so fast, I had moved to the other end of the couch because her cigarette smoke bothered me and she politely said she'd go in the other room to smoke. Great, huh? After a bit she comes back into the living room and tells me I have to leave. HUH! Or at least go into the bedroom for a bit while a friend of her roommates comes over. HUH! again!! "Oh wait he won't stop if he sees your car." What the?, As I'm trying to process..

Something about having to talk about a wrecked car, but by now astonishment is turning to anger and I quietly grab my bag and leave without saying anything but call me. On my way out she tells me I can leave the bag and come back in a bit. WTH is all I can think of at this point. So I hop in the car and drive off.

Imagine my thoughts and you can guess all that went through my mind, so I drove around not knowing what to do. After about 5 minutes I get a text saying I have every right to be sssoooo pissed and if I had done that to her she would never forgive me but she doesn't know what to do. Again...WTF!!!

I truly was at a total loss 10:30 at night and emotions galore. I ended up driving around for an hour and then drove back by and there wasn't any other car so I went to the door and she answered. Inside she comes clean that this was a friend who had called and said he was coming by. She then tells me that she is sorry and he had texted her that he came by and saw my car so he was going home. She tells me that hurt her and she didn't realize she had those feelings and nothing ever has happended between them.

Needless to say i'm hurt, I do not get angry but have questions, some kinda answered but mostly her crying and fetal position on the couch. It's better I leave and she says we'll talk today, so I go home. Crappy night sleeping, go figure.

Today i'm on the road and text her kind caring words. She responds with how can I be so sweet considering what she did. A couple texts later after she asks if I can still be her friend I call her. I keep it caring and when it comes to her explaining, the tears come again and she says can we talk about that later?

Of course, so we let it be and she says she'll call me later. I still haven't heard.

What i've learned;

She says she loves me... ok???

She thinks the OM is done with her... ok, didn't think anything happended???

She did say that she would like to see if her feelings were reciprocated by him when I pushed with what she wanted. I know "bad form".

She is an emotional mess right now.

I have feelings for her that have grown over the past 9 months because I was keeping my walls high. She said "loves me" a long while ago and I told her I was being very cautious for this exact reason. She understood and I had finally started to let my walls down.

I know this is long winded but I desperately ask...

NOW WHAT!!!

cire