Advice for the LD wife?

[Bagheera]

I'm a newcomer to this site, and just finished SSM yesterday. Since I haven't found many threads that address the LD perspective, I thought I'd create my own.

Greetings Nightmare, and welcome to the SSM board. I'm glad you chimed in here: with the wonderful exception of DanceQueen, it's been turning into the Grumpy Old Men's club a bit too much of late.

DQ (I'll have to call her DairyQueen sometime, just to rib her), has been giving you some great advice, to which I'll only add two things:

(1) Have your husband read The SSM from cover to cover also. It will make him feel so much better that an author out there actually understands HIS side of the story and what physical intimacy means to a man, in particular. As you know, there is also a section of the book devoted entirely to HIM -- he needs to do his part too. This must be a two-way, two-person effort or it won't work.

(2) Be sure to re-read the section that talks about the Marriage Catch-22, and what physical intimacy means to a man. Then share that understanding with your husband, perhaps after he had read the same portion of the book. The day that my wife finally "got it," after more than 20 years of marriage, was one of the most important moments in our relationship, and in my mind, absolutely crucial toward getting our relationship back on track.

Again, welcome, and best of luck to you.

Bagheera