"When I bring up this fear, she behaves as if its just wishful thinking on my behalf."
That's a simple defense mechanism. You got to close to "her inner issue". She's reflecting, diversion tactic so she won't get hurt. It's a sort of response you would give when you want to convince someone of the contrary, but you really are trying to convince yourself.
I also gather that, and this is based that most woman who are natural talkers, she's gravitated to individuals that she's seeking as sounding boards, they are reverberating what she wants to hear. In that aspect, she's getting fed feedback based on only her perspective, and it supports her 'theory' of what should happen. Does that make sense? She's in full force defense mood to convince herself that change can never happen. So, you're only recourse is to physically prove it otherwise. When you call her on things, she'll get scared, and defensive.
Has she done any self evaluating that you can tell? Books laying around? You won't want to push her into it, that's for sure. Believe me, that's fatal.
