Well, W did respond after all. Talked lawyer stuff and then this:
Quote:
Perhaps you will not understand this, but I did not end a relationship with you in order to pursue another. I ended the relationship because I couldn't be there anymore. I'm happy to be on my own right now, but truly sad and sorry that I hurt you along the way.
So I wrote back: "I think I understand - as I've said before, I have recognized that we both need and want a new relationship and in order for that to happen the old one needed to end. And I am hurt that you seemed to concentrate on the past rather than seeing possibilities for the future, but that's okay. With time I'll get past that.
But I can't assume anything about how you feel and what you said to me at the beginning of March was that you wanted to try to make a relationship with OM work. Perhaps that has changed now, but whatever the case I wish you the best."
So, this is me finally letting go of hope. When my thread locks, which should be soon, I guess I'll move over to Divorced but not Done.
I think you expressed yourself well. My W says the same thing - it's not about OM. Whatever. Let go of the rope, not hope. Don't go to the D forum until it is official. There's not much action over there anyway.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I think I told my wife something at the time like:
"While I agree that we certainly had issues before your affair, I simply refuse to believe that your current feelings for him do not have a direct affect on your decision-making right now. If not for me, then you owe it to YOURSELF to make what are really life-changing decisions, free of any emotional attachment to another man. End your affair, and THEN do your decision-making."
Well, W responded by saying "OK" and then telling me about a story she saw in the New York Times that she thought I'd appreciate.
WTF? You see a few posts up what I'd just emailed her. Whatever. She leaves for 3 weeks in the field soon. I'm off for a quick trip to Montana tomorrow.
I think she wants to always remain friends with you. I think you should let go of hope, but dont move over to the divorced section when then locks. There is still so much time before it is legal. For the next few months, it is Lodo's time for himself.
I know, I know. Thanks, BTW, for always checking in on me.
So Kerry, after reading about your garden I've started having grandiose ideas for my plot in the community garden. You mentioned you've got artichokes. I'd love to grow those - are they hard to keep alive?
I'm kind of wishing her the best because I think I'm done. And I'm kind of sarcastic because I think she's a broken person who will never know how to be in a long term relationship. She's selfish and has no empathy.
We have a very close relationship that she's always taken for granted so I challenge her to find that somewhere else. She's the type of person that only sees what they had when they've lost it. As much as I love her, what makes me think we can build any kind of future? Better to cut my losses and be smarter next time around.
all right. tonight chef lodo realized he was all out of brats, so he thawed some delectable ground sirloin, mixed in egg, onions, salt and pepper, grilled it medium rare, and topped with red onion, fresh romaine, avocado, jalapenos, and aged cheddar. It was served on a toasted sourdough roll with a salad of baby greens on the side. The bikini clad women who are supposed to show up when you drink Sierra Nevada Pale Ale failed to appear but lodo is still hoping they're simply stuck in traffic.
The cat, meanwhile, pounced on an ivy rat and, when last seen, had eaten the head and shoulders and was working on picking the untasty bits out of the abdominal cavity.
