I am the WAW...

[EnergyAZ]

One of the great things about this site is to understand just how many other people have similar problems. It makes one feel a little better realizing that what you are going through is not a totally unique situation and there are ways to overcome it.

We are all a part of the human fraternity, is it really so shocking we can be similar to one another?

It sounds like your husband is still upset with you for leaving, so if he is still upset with you then he still doesnt understand what has happened in his life. I remember that feeling well, not understanding what the hell was happening to my life. The absolute lack of control I had over the situation was impossible for me to accept in that state of mind. Not understanding how she would walk away from such a great guy. It was hard not to be upset with her for being so 'selfish'

I can see your point of view about not wanting to be the one who makes the 1st move, only get verbally lashed at for doing so..

It helps me understand my own wife's reluctance to take a step closer towards me. Its hard not to have the preconception that the result of your effort will end painfully for you after its happened that way so many times before.

If there was some sort of magic powder that could make our respective spouses come to this forum - that would be so helpful.

She WANTS to leave and is totally convinced she will be very happy. You HAVE left. Are you happy? I realize you are 2 different people, but again, our situations have thier similarities. I know she could relate to many of the things you have said as she has said very similar herself.

And likewise, I can relate to your husband because I behaved very similarly, so I imagine the root causes of the behavior are similar as well. And I am pretty sure he is not ready to have you tell him his ego is his own worst enemy, he likely will feel attacked and respond as such - at least thats how I would react when my wife used to try to bring that to light.

Hmmmm.....

Maybe we could find a way to give our respective spouses a copy of this thread and see what thier take is on it?

But I am not sure if thats a good idea or not.