Onward and upward

[mishka422]

I have been thinking a lot last night and today about this. I'd really like your opinions about how I handled this.

H had called me at work Monday to ask if I was taking S13 to karate. I told him I had planned on it and he said he wanted to take him on Tuesday night. I said that was fine. He confirmed the time with me and asked me if I had plans this weekend as he would be off and could take S on one of those days if I wanted to go out. I told him I'd let him know. (begin scramble for something to do!)

Tuesday rolls around, H texts S13 to tell him he would pick him up at 7:45p. I never talked to him yesterday so didn't confirm. He was working a day shift yesterday so I thought it was a little ambitious of him to want to take S to karate since he doesn't get off until 7pm on a good day but whatever. Not my problem really.

At home and S13 is waiting by the window for his dad. 7:45p rolls by and no H, 7:50p - no H. I tried calling him then as class starts at 8:00p and he can't be more than 5 minutes late or the class won't count. Straight to voicemail. Waited a minute and called again. H answers and sounds annoyed. I asked if he was almost here. He said "OH sh&t. I lost track of time, I'm still at work doing paperwork on 3 felony arrests that happened right at the end of my shift."

I got annoyed, I won't lie. I stated to him that maybe the next time he wants to volunteer to drive our son he should set his reminder alarm for an hour prior so that if he's busy still he can call or text me to let me know he won't make it. He just kept saying that he lost track of time. No apology, just anger in his voice. I said this calmly as a suggestion and not a criticism but everything I say he takes wrong so I should have probably just shut up and said ok and hung up.

I went outside and told S13 that I was taking him and his dad was still at work. He got so upset. Choked back tears and it took all of my strength to not join him. I cracked a couple of jokes trying to lighten his mood and it seemed to work.

I sent H a text telling him I was sorry he was having a bad day and that I wasn't being critical but it seemed like he took my suggestion the wrong way and I was sorry if he misunderstood me. Why is that?

No answer back from him.

About a half hour later I sent him another text saying OK. If you would like to talk you know I'm always here for you.

No answer until about 30 minutes later. He said he was still at work. Still no apologies and no further comment.

He finally called me when I was home and making dinner (at 9:30p - yes we ate at 10pm which seems to happen A LOT since H left and I have to do it all!) I answered the phone with cheer in my voice, not anger. He immediately apologized for not calling me or texting me but he just lost track of time. I nearly bit a hole through my tongue so I didn't say, "Well gee...did you have the time to call your wh*re and tell her you would be "home" (gag!) late but not the courtesy to tell your son you weren't going to make it when he was counting on you?" I'm pretty proud of myself for not saying it....ooohhh, I wanted to so badly!!!!!!!!!

We had a conversation for about 5 minutes just him telling me about the arrests where I ooohed and aaahhed about it. Yeah, BIG DEAL! I really don't care since they were just really large shoplifting felonies. Nothing juicy.

Anywho.....I'm just wondering if I handled that the right way. I feel better that he did finally apologize. It's just so darned frustrating!!!! So thoughtless! I just felt so bad for my son. He was devastated.

What do you guys think?