I am the WAW...

[EnergyAZ]

Your descriptions of your husbands behavior is almost identical to how I was.

However my wife and I have a child together, so there is the main difference there. Otherwise you pretty much described the 'old' me.

Like you, my wife felt doubtful...no..convinced that I would never change.

Once I started changing and obviously trying to live my life in a better way, a better communicator, a better listener, more calm & rational & respectful - it really confused her. She seems to have a hard time believing what she is seeing is going to be permanent or not. I cant say I blame her. All I can do is live each day as consistantly to my new outlook as possible. I am human though, and sometimes fall back into old traits. But they dont last long because I finally understand what I am doing. When I 'backslide' it validates and re-energizes her desire to leave. When I am consistent in my improved behavior, she is much sweeter to me. (not that I take it as a sign that she has decided to love and commit to me again) But it seems clear I am my own worst enemy here.

But my contributions to creating the WAW issue aside, she believes that she never truly loved me enough to get married in the 1st place. I am not sure if that is a symptom of years of unhappy thoughts about me or not. Do you ever feel that way about your H?