Thanks Bagheera. I do get your point. I was not offended by your original statement, and I agree with nearly everything you have written in this response, too. Except that I do still compare porn to cocaine, not a glass of wine.

The reasons "why" a man would want to look at it are true and your subject was covered well on that point. We all want an escape into fantasy, and some of us want to do that visually and some of us want to do that mentally.

Also I appreciate your stance on exploitation. You are clearly not a caveman! :0)

But I still do equate porn as a HIGHLY addictive substance, and most men are not like you. However, to a man like you, where you seem so grounded, mature, reasonable, thoughtful, etc, and that you can view porn occasionally without becoming addicted, I am sure that to you - my point will never be heard. Because in your case, you are never going to become addicted to it.

My theory is that in the next 20 years, there will be so many men with intimacy and sexual problems directly resulting from porn addiction, that there will be a mental health emergency. And then a backlash will happen, similar to the backlash of the 60's and 70's. After those free love, free drug years, people realized that there are costs to pay when you think something is free. I believe this will happen with the porn phenomenon as well. Men like you will be saying "I don't get what the big deal is". But men (and women) whose lives were destroyed by an addictive substance will be saying "if only I had realized how addictive that substance really was and how it was damaging my mind and my body as I was using it".

Again, we did just fine as a human race without access to heavy porn for 100,000 years. There is no data to support that it is a good or necessary thing. There IS however, data to support that it is a highly addictive substance.

So....I mostly want you to know I am not offended, and I am still only making a debate on a larger topic. Nothing personal at all about you, your wife, me, my man, etc.

In fact, I like porn. And my man and I don't have a conflict there. But the reason for that is because he has been a bad boy in his past, and he knows where to draw the line, he has seen people go down with that ship, he knows how to turn himself on without any visual aids. We have an agreement to only watch it together...and that agreement protects HIM as much as it protects me...because I am not an angel and I need help staying on the right path, too. Just like all humans. Lucky for me, my man will help me and he will allow me to help him.

Also, he came to these conclusions about porn way before I ever met him. I didn't tell him anything new about it...he knows.

Good debate, Bag. You rock.

DanceQueen

(P.S. I detest romance novels and have never read one).