I have joined a Men's Group at Church and am volunteering at a church charity every 2 weeks. I also have been exercising regularly and going out at lease once a week (usually for coffee or dinner with a friend). I also have been reading alot of D/R/M books and focusing on the D legal details. I seem to make PMA progress for a few days, backslide, more progress, etc. The progress line of my emotional health would look like a lightning bolt. It is very hard to see my W every day and interact with her with the D pending. She does not see any of my emotional weakness. I am confident and positive and kind around her..... or I am not around her.
I know that my triggers are when I see hope of any kind and when I see the kids suffering. When the kids are happy and the W is nasty/distant - I am fine. I feel for you in that you seem so close to success. It must be very hard for you to not relax.
My W is having weekly IC meeting now and I am very hopeful that she is getting better. Not just for our M but for herself. I know that I am a much better person than I was at the start of this mess. I have concerns about her IC because she has stated that she now knows that she quit the marriage along time ago but did not realize it. She also keeps saying that she is not good enough for me. These concepts both come from the IC sessions.
I cannot make her happy, I cannot change her mind, I can only present the most attractive option that I can for her to decide. I keep focusing on Prayer and Patience and trying not to think too far ahead.
