Real live is....part 4!

[Starshyne]

I know that I need to SEE something from him and not just the words. I allow the words to get to me more than I should. It is just hearing him say "I love you, I don't want a divorce. I want to work on things..." pulls at my heart. I have been wanting to hear those words for 6 months.

We all know that my husband is the king of cake and ice cream eating. He has been doing this for so long now. And maybe he is just saying these words to play me along for a little while longer. I just don't think so. I think he is starting to realize what he is doing and what he is going to be missing.

I guess the bottom line is that I need to go to the lawyer and start everything. I my H in the meantime shows me change, then I will have to find a way to repay my Dad the money. I wish one of you could hold my hand and force me into the building to do this.

[Eagle 2]

Sara,

You can always stop the D after you file. You can always pay back your Dad. This is your only chance to fix your M.

Tell the atty exactly what you are doing so that they are ready to stop if/when neccessary.

[girlfromipanema]

Eagle, I believe Sara would be out $1,500 if she ended up putting the settlement on hold.

Sara, why not just postpone paying the lawyer for a few days? You and your H can see each other and you can establish what you need from him in order to hold off. BE strong, Sara. You've done such a fantastic job. Keep it up.

Do not worry about your dad. He's not going to be happy, but you need to put your desires first...

xo,

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sara,

You can tell when an adulterer is being truthful when their actions begin to align with their words, consistently, over time.

As for ONLY their words, they mean very little -- if anything -- and sometimes, in fact, are a smokescreen for their true intentions.

Puppy

[Starshyne]

Well I contacted H (he was studying in the library) and told him that I have put off the lawyer until tomorrow morning. And that he needs to show me that he is serious about making changes before then. He just said, "oh okay..." Then we chatted a little bit about his school stuff and that was it. If everything stays the same tonight, then I will go first thing tomorrow morning.

[Rob1231]

Good move, SS.

Wishing you good luck tonight! Remember, you can only open the door - he has to walk through it. Stay strong!

[LL44]

Nothing wrong with putting it off for a day or two. H, no matter how busy, needs to put actions behind his words. Sometimes I am thankful H is dead set on D, because his wish-washy-ness ( ) would really confuse me.

You are doing great!!

[kat727]

Hang in there Sara. We all want what is best for you and hate to see you hurting. I really don't know what your H could do in one night to convince you that he is coming home...have you thought about that?

kat

[girlfromipanema]

I think you should ask your H what steps he plans on taking to make things right before you tell him your deal breakers. See how many of them match up...

Much love to you, Sara.

[Starshyne]

H knows what is expected of him...we have been over it so many times (or so it seems). He knows that the main thing is to end all contact with the OW and never see her ever again. That is the biggest hurdle. I think the reason it didnt work the first time around was because he wasn't the one to break it off, she was.

Anyhow...I had a nice evening tonight. I went out to dinner with my cousin. She is 10 years younger than me but we have a lot in common and have always been close. What I totally loved about her tonight was that I know she is aware of my sitch, but she didn't mention it at all. Not even one time. I actually wasn't thinking about my H and my problems...I had an enjoyable time. So much so that we agreed to make Wednesday nights our nights while she is home from college!

Sara