Well she may not have ever experienced good kisses or good sex in her life. Not saying this reflects on you, but on her own experience. If something in her mind is blocking her from being open to the experience - and this is true for many men and women too - then she may not ever get there...
But I want to say something that might be a little shocking and I am not sure how to put it...but many times with a woman like this (not saying your wife, but just any woman who has blocked herself from sexual intimacy), many times when the right circumstances come along, usually in the form of being seduced, she will find herself being opened up whether she wanted to or not. In my own experience, I didn't want sex with my husband but I was able to be seduced by other men. NOW and only now, I understand this is because I had put emotional blocks upon my husband's image in my mind and I refused to sexually respond to him. But at the time, I thought there was something wrong with my body.
So...my guess is that there IS some way, and some person (hopefully you), that CAN turn your wife's motor on. She has to be open to it just a teeny tiny bit at least. And she may not consciously be able to be open to it with you.
But the fact that it IS inside of her somewhere is probably true. She may have no idea how capable she is of extreme sexual intimacy because she has closed herself off to it. But it is probably hiding in there somewhere.
Therefore, you are going to have a big task in front of you in order to drag that passion out of her...but some other man may not have to try so hard. She will not have placed all the blocks on some other man the way she has upon you.
Please don't let that discourage you. It is actually the SAME thing that you are describing about how you still can imagine that passionate kiss with another woman but not your wife. Look within, I think the answer is the same for both of you.
How to fix it? Well I will go back to my original posts to you and tell you that a good counselor is probably the only way to get the ball rolling. But earlier you just said that she refused to go and that left your hands tied. If you still feel that way, then I can't see much hope.
But if you want to take a chance on fixing this, I would demand counseling with her and tell her if it doesn't work you will work toward divorce. You will find out really fast if she is in or out.
