Well NTE - I think you have your answer then, at least as far as your own inner passion, that it hasn't died, that it is there for other women. For your wife, yeah, it has died.
Do you WANT and desire to make it come alive again? If you do, there is hope if you want to put in the hard work. If you don't, then please just start working your way toward an ending. The one thing I learned from my divorce is that sooner is better. I stuck it out for 17 years, all that time just hoping and wishing for it it get better, but of course, I was not willing to do the hard work. So I wish I could go back and do the hard work sooner, get my answer as to if it would have worked or not, and then throw in the towel sooner if it wasn't going to work. All those 17 years I kidded myself into thinking I was doing the right thing for the children. That was not the case. In reality, I was just too lazy to work hard. But what a price I paid for that laziness.
As for your #2 above....now you know how women with no desire for their husbands feel, too. It is that same "dead" feeling. And yes it feels unnatural, but it is perfectly natural in your situation.
