While we live this LBS limbo our lives seem tragic.
The REAL tragedy would be not using what we have learned later when the opportunity arises.
Life Lessons suck, so you remember them and try your damndest not to repeat them.
I really do not know about the whole 80-20 split, but I do know that something was missing for my wife. I do know that I failed in paying attention to her, I do know we both talked about what the other one contributed to a vicious cycle, I do know that neither one of us fixed ourselves, rather we expected the other one to address our needs without bothering past a token attempt at changing. I failed my wife at the time, I contributed, by ignoring her, by playing computer games that were so much more important than her, to the destruction of her self esteem. I was a huge part of that. So much so that I might as well have undressed both her and the OM and bought them the hotel room and plane tickets for their vacation and wished them well.
So while we might be 80%, or more, or less.
That 20%...
Guess what?
Rather than totally put the blame on our spouses, rather than ask, what would happen if they came and blah blah blah, maybe, the REAL question goes something like this.
Why didn't I give 100%?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
