As a guy, I know I have always been taught to just "deal" with any unhappiness or unmet need. I was never taught to complain about any problems (even when asked) just take care of them. For me during one part of my M, involved an EA for a few months. From my perspective I knew I loved my wife, but I knew I wasn't happy (W was heavily involved in Work etc) so I had a problem I needed to fix. I even made some hints, I guess expecting her to read my mind etc. I certainly couldn't complain to my W, because she depended upon me to be her rock, etc. Eventually I just talked myself into believeing "what is wrong with having a friend". Afterall, I don't mean any harm, etc. It wasn't until I was on the receiving end of an EA a few years later that I fully appreciated the damage and hurt it could cause.
I am by no means endorsing my actions or any others that choose paths like this, but it is easy to see how person can follow this path even with somewhat warped good intentions.
One good thing that has come out of my present sitch, is that I have learned a lot more about expressing myself, unfortunately I can't use it too much now since that only pushes her further away and I am just starting to bring her closer through good DBing
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
