He's "done". Period.

[7 Year Itch]

I know I'm supposed to look at DBing for me. And I do hope to get there, but right now I'm not. I do want to change a lot of things for me no matter what, so I'm going to try to focus on that. But I read all the success stories here, and I do still have the mindset of DBing to save my marriage. Wrong, I know.

Well last night sort of stunk. My D6 has her Tball practices on Tuesdays, and H is getting off work early to help coach those days. Well, I'm sitting there with some of my other Mom friends (he wasn't there yet) and I hear from one of them that H had told another coach last practice that he was getting a D. Well THAT coach told his wife (who is major gossiper) and now everyone knows.

I HATE this. Seriously. We live in a smaller town, and now we've suddenly become part of the rumor mill. And the worst part. I have NOTHING to be ashamed of. I'm working, I'm not leaving, and yet.... I have to sit there feeling like an idiot, because my H is leaving me.

So anyway, when he got there I told him I wanted to move D6's booster into his car, and go home with other D so I could cook dinner earlier (we are always rushed on Tuesdays). In reality, I was just feeling stupid and wanted to get out of there.

I found a line on a job, and since I haven't worked in 7 years, my resume was VERY old and outdated. So I spent all afternoon and evening getting a resume together and shot it off to this job last night. Hope it works out.

I live in the boonies, so finding a job here would be a miracle and it seemed to have a lot of what I need. Including part time right now, with an option to move to full time (which I will need come fall). I just have no idea what the pay is. Hoping it works out and I here something. It also had the option for telecommuting which would be amazing with the girls if I could still be home.

H and I talked about my "business" letter I sent yesterday a bit. He has a line of a place to stay now, and it's a place where the girls could visit, but it's far. He also informed me that he plans to take the girls camping overnight next Sat. night for Father's Day.

I can't tell you how sad that makes me. Our D6 has only been camping once, and D2 not at all. I'm going to miss that first for her. And realistically, I probably will not take the girls camping by myself until they are quite a bit older. Just another thing I'm going to be missing with them ,and I'm mad about that. We should all be together.

Still trying to figure out what to do for Father's Day. For Mother's Day he had the girls get my a Spa Gift Certificate, and he gave me a card with a nice note about how I'm a great Mom. Think I'll follow his lead and have the girls get him something, but I wont, and I'll just give him a card. I don't know.

Chris