Am I crazy?

[CharlieBrown]

I have posted over the years on the SSM board, but I have a question that I thought best bounced off those on this board.

Here is the sitch. Relative of wife left wife of many years and 3 small kids a few months back. Had an affair with much younger woman, also married at the time, and they have both filed, are going through D, and are now living together. Assume for sake of argument that the relative is a great person whom everyone likes and that, while the entire thing was a shock, it was understandable in hindsight based on how much of a serious mis-match they were and how unhappy he was (they had a major SSM and he tried to do things to solve it and she never wanted to, for example).

Here is the issue I am having. While I want to be supportive of the relative, he is already bringing his gf to family events, including a wedding we will be going to later in late July. He has called the hosts of these events to ask if it is ok and they have all said yes. I have told my w how bothered I am by that and that the family should at least say no until the D is final, but everyone seems to think I am nuts and "overly judgmental" for not wanting him to be happy. My response is that even when you like someone, there is still right and wrong.

First of all, am I nuts? Second, the family is not very big so I assume I am going to get introduced to the new gf. Any suggestions on how to handle this?