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[Lissie]

Stephen Covey, author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People quotes the saying, "It is not the bite from the poisonous snake that kills us, it is the chasing of the snake that drives the poison to our hearts".

This was posted on someone's thread on the Surviving board, I thougt it was soo great, and wanted to share it with you.

First of all is has been a hell of a few days. That numb feeling sucks. I am sorry about that, you are sounding stronger.

I think that after all you have been thru with your EX, I think you are in a place that you can bounce back quicker.

Tiger, I think your goals should be prayer, spiritual and emotional health.

Other things will fall into place.

Are you a liar?

If you aren't, then people saying you are, should have no effect on you.

Do not take it personally.

I know easier said than done. It is just that you have been thru so much already. Pray to be at a place where you are growing from past mistakes and hurts.

Learn from the past, learn from this experience.

She called you to say it was over, and that she has found somone else?

Think deep about this. She was in contact with your EX. It just all sounds so ick.

I remember telling someone I really cared about and respected. I will try to not hurt you in the way your X hurt you, by lying and being sneaky and all that jazz. I just could not see myself hurting you that way, after all you have been thru. I really made it a point to be sensitive to those things.

That was someone that was just my friend. Imagine if I were in a Relationship with them. I would of been so much more aware.

I think when you come to a place of being comfortable in your own skin, and then go into an R. You are aware of these things, and it is a mutual give and take. A mutual respect. A mutual bond at building honesty.

If you really saw all of these things with her? Then by all means Work on your spiritual and emotional health, and keep the door open.

But if you ever saw, the selfishness, and lying and drama that I see about her. Still work on your spiritual and emotional health. But, then this may be a lesson that you needed to learn for whatever reason. Thank God he has showed you the light before you walked down that aisle.

Go do something fun with the boys. Oh, and I think your son should not email her anymore. Tell him to email you whatever he wanted to tell her, Or to write it down in a journal or in a letter.

Let him get his feelings out, I just know that to her it will seem as you are up to something.

Children are innocent. Protect them from all of this as you do. They are not to be involved in these adult matters. It shapes their future, it takes away their carefree nature. I am so happy that he went to the therapist. I am so happy that you spoke to his therapist also.

Many prayers are being said for you and your boys Tiger. I hope you get a minute to just feel them, and let them do their job.