Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Hope4us]

Last night was another pretty decent night. My friend Deb had sent me an email yesterday that her dad was in the hospital and said she wasn't sure what was wrong other than he could have had a heart attack or maybe something worse. So I had text messaged WW and let her know and she said maybe she would call Deb later this week to talk to her. That's good. Even though it's bad circumstances why, WW talking to a REAL friend can only help us.

So when I got home, DS16 says to me "mom is in a bad mood" so I thought, oh boy, here we go, but we started talking about Deb's dad and her day etc and everything was pretty decent. She didn't go anywhere yesterday other than to take DS16 to school and back. But WW told me she just wanted to sleep and read a book yesterday and she kept getting phone calls and text messages and in a funny voice said "I just wanted to sleep"!

So I went out to dinner with my boss who is in town for a meeting today and when I got home DS, WW and I had some great, fun conversations for an hour or more and then I went to bed. On my way past her I gave her shoulder a squeeze and she didn't pull back or anything so I think I'll keep doing that and gradually ramp up to hugs and such.

But the funny thing is, now that it seems like she's coming around I find myself getting more impatient every day. And my anger is coming back. I just want to scream at her "you F'd up, now lets fix this", but I know I can't. I guess now is when I need to be the most patient and not push things, but it's so hard because I can feel my hopes getting up and I know DS16's also and it's going to really suck if she pulls something or really has no intention of trying to make us work.