Moving toward reconciliation... I think

[S.T. _I Made It!]

Hey NA.

Part of me wants to say, if you know the family is ok financially, then let him handle his stuff and deal with it. Sometimes I think we, as wives, need to let go of this control that we want to have - because of our concern for our family and future- that it does not allow our H's to learn and deal with it themselves.

I have a feeling that having a financial discussion with H is not going to get you what you want. If you discuss it in MC I think that would be better.

you know whats funny? I used to be the one who wanted control and be frugal about our money, never wanting to spend on anything extra because we couldn't afford it (and we really couldn't). After the sitch, I let all that go, and decided that if we had the money, I would be happy for H, so I did just that. Be happy for H. Well, because I've given him more control, and have encouraged and praised him for appropriate things, the roles have switched. I talked about going out to the movies or doing something fun, and he says, we don't have the money and we should use it for the lawn! I even said, soooo, the roles have finally switched! and he said, huh, what do you mean.

I just had to laugh. He really had no clue. So now, HE's being more careful with money and I'm more carefree. It's funny how things can change. I'm sure it doesn't work all the time, but as Michelle said, if someone gives 80%, the other person will only give 20%. it does make sense.

perhaps telling him your proud of him, and you know he will take care of his finances well. ??? sometimes when we show good expectations of someone, they are more likely to provide those expectations. When we have bad expectations of someone, it's easier for them to live up to those bad expectations. Kinda weird, but that's how it seems to work most of the time.