I don't want to write out of ignorance, and surely I don't know as much about you and Jeff as your regular posters, so please feel free to blow this off and ignore it completely (I'd tell you to let me know and I'd delete it, but....well you know).
"We talked about dating others. Neither of us can really imagine that."
"He said he thinks about us getting back together sometimes. But mostly he thinks about the bills..."
I know this has been a long road for you. And I can understand that you've been through incredible struggles getting to the place you are now.
You're not going anywhere.
Neither is he.
The man, by your accounts, is still struggling, and not necessarily with relationship issues, but with life in general.
He is not where you are.
Yes, we all reach a point where we are right to say that it's time for a decision to be made. We all reach a point where we just want some closure to be able to wake up each morning knowing for sure what the deal is.
This is your marriage. The man you still love. The father of your children. This is what you literally went through hell to stand in support of.
Has it been too long? I mean, I know it's been a long time, but did the timer really go off?
I know you want a decision, and I know you said the "no putting time limits on decisions" thing isn't allowed to apply here.
But why?
You're a strong, intelligent, and resourceful woman. You've been through the worst, came out the other end stronger than you were before.
The timer is off when you don't love him anymore. The timer is off when he is willing to say no.
The times you described when you stopped by his place, they sounded like good times. They sounded like the kinds of times that can eventually lead to enough comfort, trust, and security, that love has a chance to grow again.
Again, I'm sorry if I'm out of line.
Blessings to you, Jeff, and your children,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
I don't want to write out of ignorance, and surely I don't know as much about you and Jeff as your regular posters, so please feel free to blow this off and ignore it completely (I'd tell you to let me know and I'd delete it, but....well you know).
"We talked about dating others. Neither of us can really imagine that."
"He said he thinks about us getting back together sometimes. But mostly he thinks about the bills..."
I know this has been a long road for you. And I can understand that you've been through incredible struggles getting to the place you are now.
You're not going anywhere.
Neither is he.
The man, by your accounts, is still struggling, and not necessarily with relationship issues, but with life in general.
He is not where you are.
Yes, we all reach a point where we are right to say that it's time for a decision to be made. We all reach a point where we just want some closure to be able to wake up each morning knowing for sure what the deal is.
This is your marriage. The man you still love. The father of your children. This is what you literally went through hell to stand in support of.
Has it been too long? I mean, I know it's been a long time, but did the timer really go off?
I know you want a decision, and I know you said the "no putting time limits on decisions" thing isn't allowed to apply here.
But why?
You're a strong, intelligent, and resourceful woman. You've been through the worst, came out the other end stronger than you were before.
The timer is off when you don't love him anymore. The timer is off when he is willing to say no.
The times you described when you stopped by his place, they sounded like good times. They sounded like the kinds of times that can eventually lead to enough comfort, trust, and security, that love has a chance to grow again.
Again, I'm sorry if I'm out of line.
Blessings to you, Jeff, and your children,
Bill
You aren't out of line, Bworl.
I appreciate you posting to me.
I just need to get back to the basics and pray.
My Pastor's wife called me up out of the blue Sunday evening.
Hey Amy, I just finished reading the last 2 days worth of posts on your thread and a thought came to mind as I started reading your "time for him to speak up" post. So a bit of food for thought here.
Over the last year and a half I've read most of your threads and if there's an observation I've made in all of it, its this, your husband struggles when faced with these situations, it seems he specifically struggles in being able to adequately respond in the right ways. He seems to ultimately know what he thinks and feels but needs a hand to hold and/or help guide him in order to say it. Your hand.
So maybe, just maybe what he needs is not that little push but a guiding or supportive hand. A hand that doesn't broach the subject directly but helps him by giving him the opportunity and maybe helps show him the way a little.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
