Supermom and the Brighter Tomorrow

[JennyF]

((((IC))))) Oh how I've missed you! Hope you're doing well.

And don't worry, there's lots more buttercream frosting where that came from!!!

Things are a little up and down with me right now. I've on a mission for a happy life and I'm definitely working on that every day. All the unknowns right now are killing me a bit...along with my kids at 'their' house. I'm trying not to dwell on those things and accept it as best I can...for them. But I think things are coming to a bit of a head with H....

Today, my best friends got her chance to talk to H.
Bear with me as I divulge the details....
She told him that she was tired of him believing that she is ok with any of the decisions he has made or continues to make. She said that she and everyone else (all of his very close friends) think he's nuts. He tried to say 'this is the first I've heard of this'....so BF just called him on his obliviousness (is that a word?). She told him that his behaviour and hers at the party was unacceptable and that she is nothing more than the woman he had an affair with and that he never should have brought her. She told him he continues to put his friends in awkward positions and that he is blind to the fact people are uncomfortable. She said the man she was best friends with would never have F'd another woman and from the moment he did that every decision he has made from that point on has been a bad one. She said every decision he has made has been self serving and not respectful of anyone in the least....especially his wife and kids.
Apparently he just listened. He tried to defend a couple things....but didn't say much at all. BF said she could tell that he was offended by what she was saying. Especially when she told him that he wasn't only oblivious about the affects of this on his friends....that it's the same disregard he's showing for his children right now. She said he never should have moved his kids in with another family like this and that it sickens her. She told him that his little girl is messed up. She said she's witnessed the changes first hand over and over again.
Then H said...."so are you saying you don't trust my judgement as a father?"...and she said, "that's exactly what I'm saying".
She told him she was done with him and his friendship. That he wasn't welcome in her home anymore. She said she didn't see the need to continue to go on insulting him, she made her point and they hung up.
WOW!

So...then 10 minutes later....literally....he shows up at my door to pick up the kids. I wake D up from nap and bring her downstairs. She was a bit grumpy because I woke her up and we just let her wake up slowly and got things ready. I could tell H was on edge a bit. Then D starts crying saying she didn't want to go to Daddy's house. She wanted to go somewhere else with Daddy, but not to his house. Then she wanted to stay home. Then she wanted Daddy to stay home with her. Then she wanted to me to go to Daddy's house with her. It was so sad. H told her she could stay if she wanted to (I was surprised...but based on the conversation he had JUST had with BF, the wheels must be turning in his head.
D came around with some coaxing. It was all I could do to encourage her to go.....I was just trying to make fun for her. But I didn't want her to go. And dammit I don't want H to ignore this!! This is the second time she has said she doesn't want to go there. Will he listen?? Maybe now he will that he's heard first hand what an ass he's being from someone besides me!
God only knows. I pray that my kids are ok. That's all I want.

On top of all this H and I have to discuss the house because there is a chance I may stay if it looks like we're going to lose money on it. Then I think he should walk away and call it even. Yeah right.
Plus I'm still trying to finalize the custody arrangement with H and finalize the financial statements with the lawyer.

I'm feeling a bit strained. I've had really good moments of clarity where I see a bright future for myself and the kids...but it is all so marred with H and his bad decisions. It would be easier if I could cut ties with him, but I can't.

Anyway....I've babbled enough. Stay tuned, because things are about to get interesting.....
J~