Well, going dark isn't quite right. Going grey? I'm not initiating contact but apparently W fears she'll turn into a pumpkin after 2 weeks of no contact because in 7 months she hasn't made it beyond that without seeing me in person.
Thanks kat - I guess I AM doing it for peace and clarity. I know in my heart that we should have had a chance to work on M for the simple reason that it can be saved. She just doesn't know that, or won't admit it. Stubborn.
I would think that going dark in your case would allow you more freedom to heal and move one. If W decides she wants to return, then you can decide if that fits into your life as you have rebuilt it. If she does, that's awesome! If not, then you have your life.
That's the theory, anyway. Easier said than done, I know.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Okay, enough bitchin'. Tonight in the lodo household there will be freshly caught halibut from the coast roasted in olive oil, lemon, and kosher salt with a few sprigs of rosemary tucked into slits in the fillet. This will be served alongside spring vegetables pan-seared in white wine and including asparagus, mushrooms, red peppers, kale, and sugar peas. 7-year old parmesan cheese will be shaved on top. As chef lodo cooks, he will be enjoying a Napa chardonnay, but will then switch to a Petite Syrah for dinner. Enjoying the meal with lodo tonight will be a cat, who will ignore what lodo is doing and go out to hunt for mice in the ivy. If there are any females out there who would care to join me, you are most welcome!
Wow. Wish I would've seen your invite earlier! That sure beats the buttered noodles I had! It's the beginning of the month so I can still afford butter for my noodles!
Hey looky here! the edit is back!
Last edited by WCW; 06/04/0804:00 AM.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Well, I screwed up by putting too many blue cheese crumbles into the veggies. It probably would have been good if I hadn't gone overboard. Hey - I'm trying! Might as well screw it up now while I'm learning so I can impress a female companion at a later date, right? I don't think beer & brats is too romantic.
Tired of this churning in my mind. I'd really like to DB, but I hate the fact that this is the second time W has done this. So I need to really move on, and that means a 180 by taking care of myself before trying to be a friend. So I sent W the following:
Quote:
Mrs. Lodo,
After giving it some thought, I think it'd probably be best if we forget about lunch next week.
You told me you felt relieved and good about ending a relationship with me in order to pursue another, so it hardly seems fitting to lunch as if nothing has happened. Perhaps someday after the divorce is final we can be friends again. But not now.
Good luck with your concert. I'll be there in spirit. And enjoy your birthday party.
me
Not DB at all, I know. SG would ask "will this bring you closer to your goal?" And while I'd like my goal to be reconciliation, I think those of us in Infidelity realize that there will never be reconciliation until the WAS is truly remorseful and ready to work on the M. Otherwise it's all just p*ssin' in the wind. So my goal, like g says, is to make sure my own life is strong. Which I've been doing but I'm no longer going to let W in whenever she wants.
Lodo, I really like what you wrote to Mrs Lodo - strong but not angry and with a light sprinkle of sarcasm!
Is Lodo a reference to Lower Downtown Denver? I wish I could sign up here again and use a nickname. I would be "dirtman" since I really like to work the dirt in the garden.
Your meal is so mouth watering compared to the rushed microwaved chicken nuggets, ribs, black beans, and mac&cheese I heated up tonight for the kids and myself before our cub scout meeting.
You have to be careful to not overcook that Halibut. It is indeed one of the most tasty fishes that swims in the sea. You ever try any Orange Roughy? Trader Joes sells it frozen and it is my (and S7's) #1 favorite fish. It has kind of a sweet crab like taste.
Karen