We could call it the LBS club. Meet once every other week for drinks and show our cheating WAS that we can GAL!!! Who needs IC when we can laugh together over drinks? We should try to make it a date.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
really I think getting out more is what I need. I have been so down lately and just feeling lonely. GAL is fine but it is still depressing when you have no one to GAL with....
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Well stars - we are all here for you . I would be honored to go out and have a fun night with you. Now if I could only find a way to give you my personal info. Maybe someone can help us figure that out.
Anyway, I am feeling kinda down this evening and was wondering if anyone knew the stats on what percentage of MLCer/WAS come back? I was just hoping for some good news to give me a little strength that all is not lost. I know, I know, of course all is not lost becasue I am using this time to find more of me. While that is true, I still would like to share that better me w my H one day.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Oh F@CK, Oh F@ck!!! I just made a HORRIBLE mistake. I contacted a friend who knows OW and asked if I could have her email address so that I could just talk to her. Wanted to ask her to step away...I know Iknow STUPID but I'm not thinking right these days. Mutual friend immediately called H and told him. H just left me a voice mail saying I better call him RIGHT NOW! Obviously I'm not going to but any suggestions on what I should do????
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Been there....called her....H cussed me out (only time in my life he has ever done that). It was ugly. I can say that the OW answered some questions that I had and cleared up some lies, but rather than that it wasn't a pretty situation. Don't call her because she isn't worth your time.
Let your H cool off for awhile...maybe several days. In the meantime detach as much as you can.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
(raises hand)...I called OW also...it wasn't that bad...of course my H wasn't living with her but was still planning on marrying her...she answered some questions...lied about having a PA with H...after I confirmed the PA I called her again and she was very ugly then...but oh well...in the end H told me that talking to me sort of made her feel guilty...
I am just giving my experience...I would say in most cases it is more bad then good to call...and not calling is always good...
As for what is done now...let H cool off...tell him you had a lapse of judgement and you are not contacting his OW...and leave it at that...or if you want email this to him and tell him you really don't want this to be a discussion between the two of you so you aren't going to call him back...settled, done!
thanks for the advice. Unfortunately got it a little too late. Went ahead and took his 3rd call and the usual spew came out. I am trying to manipulate him, I'm a controlling B!tch. Said sorry you feel that way, but had nothing to do with you. I was wanting answers for ME, and since you can not be honest with your answers I thought I would go to the other source. He screamed she has nothing to do with this, and I said once he brought her into the picture then she was involved as well. ARGGG! I wish I had a bat right now to hit him with.
He then admitted that he has been reading my email so I had to go back to all of my friends and tell them to start to contact me through a diff email. He wanted to know what I have been saying to everyone. I said the truth of course. Told me it was not my place to tell his family and friends. I said they are my family too and wanted to let them know why I was leaving. He told me to just leave his friends and family out of it from now on. Said I had no intention of talking to any of them again at this point.
He told me that he is in a better place and that the only time he gets overlly emotional is when he talks to me. He realizes that all R take work, but he is just done working on ours. It is dead in his mind. I am so angry and so hurt right now. How is it so easy for them to walk away and so hard for to pick ourselves back up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
I'll admit I haven't read your whole story, but just from the last few posts I'll offer this.
Of course he doesn't want you to talk to his family and friends. Of course he doesn't want you to talk to OW. That would be shining the light on the cockroaches under the rock. Do you think he's going to like sitting with family and friends with OW when they KNOW the truth? NOPE. And that's when cracks in the "perfect" romance start to open up.
It's ok for him to read your email but you can't talk to family and friends for support? Huey. Talk to who you want to.
I don't think contacting OW will do any good, but it could have an affect on the affair, but it doesn't very often.
Never apologize for telling the truth. If he can't deal with it, tough.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
Hope, thanky you for telling me that I was not wrong in telling his family. I feel so down today. I really think that he is just going to go and run to the OW arms even faster now. I'm not going to contact her. It prob would not do any good anyway. Just when I was starting to emerge from that dark hole, looks like I find a way to fall right back into it.
I wish I could just let him go.....
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
BH, I agree with H4U. I don't think you need to apologize for anything you've done. He's the guilty one feeling guilty or at least should be. The only thing I can really add is that "friend" of yours that told your H doesn't sound like a friend at all!
Btw, I did find out the OW's email in my case and emailed her about what she had done and how could she sleep at night (I still don't understand how they do that!) and it didn't really make me feel any better about the situation and I really think it just isn't worth it. Eventually our WAS will figure out what kind of person they are, etc. Karen
Karen