I know there is a long way to go but you are such an inspiration!! You have done so good & stayed so strong. I'm sure you have had your momments but you are doing great!!!
Congratulations Addie that your H has made his way home. I know there are going to be some trying times but you've achieved a goal that a bunch of us would so wish to do.
I think the anger thing about the OW is interesting. I would imagine that she's really hurt his pride. He's darn lucky that he's got a wonderful wife like you that will take him back after he went nutty over this girl. In his eyes he nearly lost everything and instead of really self reflecting he's pointing his anger at her. I'm not a shrink.. just how it looks to me.
Nlt, W2G, Eagle and Chris thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.
For those of you who are not aware my sitch remains somewhat uncertain and I don't think I'll move to piecing just yet. S and I will be moving back to my hometown where I left behind my job, family and friends last fall for H. Therefore, we'll remain apart and I don't know how we'll do.
H is going through withdrawal from OR. He's pretty distant, depressed most of the time. We have continued to talk about what's happened. Every once in a while feelings of anger and resentment start to surface over what's happened. I think about how H was so very willing to abandon our M for a tr@mp with absolutely no moral values. I wonder why he is really back - Is it just for convenience, because he was dumped? I resent that he was still trying to contact OW even a week ago knowing everything she's done to him and her lack of moral character. I believe the reason he was talking about revenge is because OW now has a new guy and H is jealous. It's a long road ahead for us.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I'm not in your position but I think I would feel the same way. I know you have a long road especially with you moving, has your H said anything about moving back with you?
You just keep hanging in there, you have done wonderful & given me great advice & support!!!
Nlt, I really appreciate your support. No H hasn't talked about moving back to hometown with me. He doesn't think he will get suitable employment there - he had tried for some time before we moved here.
H was not as distant/depressed last night or this morning. At 10:30 pm he tells me he has to go out for a half hour but hopes that I'll still be up when he gets back. He's done this a couple of other times since he's been back. I didn't ask him where he was going but I was imagining all sorts of things. He comes back 20 min later. He would not have had enough time to go by OW's place. I also checked online cell records and no calls placed. Very strange!!! When he got back, he said he really regrets what he's done. I very calmly bring up some of the feelings I've been struggling with. I told him that I was wondering if he would actually be back if OW hadn't ended the R. He said he knew for some time that he'd be back, that he couldn't sustain what he was doing. OW was too mercurial and something he craves is consistency. He said that I listen to him and am patient with him (inferred that OW is not like that). He also said that she constantly bad mouthed many people, coworkers and superiors. I told him I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that he would get involved with someone of such immoral character. He kept saying he wishes he could turn back time. We then talked about his constant unhappiness and he said he now realizes he has very unrealistic expectations. I told him that I'm very much afraid this could happen again if he doesn't deal with his issues. We also talked about how difficult it will be to work on the M when we're living 4000km apart. I mentioned when we were away with S last November how he said to S "Your mother is even more beautiful today than the day we got married" and then right after that is when he started to drift away. He said that is still true today. He then initiated ML which he's been doing regularly. We are taking things slowly - having some really good talks.
Last edited by addie; 06/04/0804:08 PM.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
This sounds great!!! I think he really has realized what he has done & the mistakes he has made. I think the guilt is making him feel depressed & the wishing he could turn back time.
I'm glad you guys are taking it slow & talking. I think that is very important!!! He does need to get help with his issues.
I'm so happy for you!!!! You just keep hanging in there, it's like everyone has told me, even tho they are miles away God can bring them back. That's what I keep hoping!!
