Trust grows and those fears fade, ever so slowly, with consistent actions on their part, you have to let your guard down to see those changes over time as well.
I'm trying to let my guard down, but then something happens that makes me wonder. I don't want to get into any details right now, but something happened on Sunday that made me question whether he's gambling. It nearly made me physically sick with worry. I think in order to establish trust in this area, he needs to be totally open about his/our finances. I'm not getting that. A month ago he told our MC that he would give me a list of debts and his payment plans- he hasn't done it yet. Today we had lunch together and I asked him if we could set up a time to talk finances. I didn't want to get into it when we had to go back to work, but wanted to let him know it was on my mind. He got quiet and somewhat defensive, as he usually does. We didn't set up a time.
I handle all of the household finances, so I know that our family situation is OK, but I'm not sure what he has for debt and I need to know. And I need to know how he plans to handle it.
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
To love someone is to allow them to hurt us in ways no one else can, to love someone is to allow them this ability, but trust that they won't.
SO, SO true. That's what makes this all so hard. Thanks for your advice.
