How are you? I am sorry you are still on this roller-coaster and I understand your pain, especially after your W probably gave you some hopes when she moved back. I am on an emotional roller-coaster myself and I am going to consult a therapist to help me detach. Just an idea for you too. Definitely the support messages from this forum help; there are fantastic guys here. I know it is easier to say than do it, but we need to DETACH.
I totally agree with Flipper, any person who does not validate our W’s actions is against them. Having people explaining them what they do is wrong will only worsen the situation. Same with suggesting MC and/or books about R/M.
We thought we could be by our W’s side and try to repair the marriage and in fact they were gone for long time. By acting this way, I was accused of being needy. And this is not what my W wants.
