in limbo and an emotional mess...

[SueS]

mzul-

I'm so sorry that this is happening. I wish I could email you off the board. Anyway, she's sure got some nerve. I understand the feeling that she was there and you weren't. Try to think about how you were with the kids. It's not like you were off doing something you should have been. Don't let her allow you to feel bad about that. You sound like a good mom. That's what you were being.....a good, supportive mom.

Do you think your H feels stuck with her there? I know that he could just walk away, but he got in this with her and maybe now he feels like he can't just walk out because of her suicide attempt. I wish I could tell you what's going through his mind. Sounds like you have smart boys. There have been people on here whose children have called the OW/OM and let them have it. I'm not suggesting that, but it sounds like your son is aware of how much you're hurting. And, it's okay to cry. This is the toughest thing I've ever been through....twice now for me. I have a 4 yr old daughter. I've tried like heck not to break down in front of her but it still happens. She told me once....mommy, you take care of me and I'll take care of you. Today she told me that whenever she looks at a heart, she'll think of me. They make you feel good.

Have you been to a counselor or gotten on any type of medication? I don't know how you feel about that, but I'm on AD's and what a difference they make. Doesn't make the pain go away, but it sure helped me level off. Think about it okay?

Just know that you're not alone. I know it feels that way sometimes, but you are not alone. You'll make it through.

Have a good night.

SueS