They want instant gratification and when you are in that mode, you really aren't thinking with a clear head.
When you cross the line and choose to have an affair, you probably aren't thinking about the positives in your Marriage but rather you focus on all of the negative stuff, and then the more you dwell on it, the worse it seems.
The you justify it all by saying that what you are doing is OK because your H/W doesn't really care or give you what you need.
Another strange and random thought..
What if..
The person wanting to have the affair actually told their Spouse that they were unhappy and wanted to work on the Marriage BEFORE they unzipped their pants.....
Just a thought
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Could you imagine what could happen if the cheating spouse did that BND? The gates would open upstairs alright! Wow. What a thought. That would make to much sense though.
The person wanting to have the affair actually told their Spouse that they were unhappy and wanted to work on the Marriage BEFORE they unzipped their pants.....
I think in (many/a few) did. I think that until we became LBSs and learned how to listen we didn't hear, believe, or understand what was wrong.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
The person wanting to have the affair actually told their Spouse that they were unhappy and wanted to work on the Marriage BEFORE they unzipped their pants.....
I think that we told EACH other this, a few times, in different ways.
It didnt' sink in till months after he left me. When i really sat down, and focused on what i had done to contribute to demise of my marriage.
When i look back it was really not all out of the blue.
I just didn't have the knowledge I have now.
One day in one of Javier's civil moments, he did apologize to me. He did admit he rewrote some history, he did admit, that we didn't listen to each other. He did admit he took the cowards way out.
Live and learn. It has been an expensive lesson. It is a lesson, that I would go thru again though.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
