I'm kind of at a loss myself. On the one hand, it sure seems like she wants you to court her. After all she accepted the date and keeps asking you to stay and eat, etc.
On the other hand she gets nasty whenever you say no or don't pick up the phone.
I suppose they are both consistent. She's getting nasty when you say no because she's taking it as a rejection.
But what are you supposed to do? Let her control you so you're afraid to say the wrong this for fear she'll divorce you?
Has she brought up the date that was supposed to take place last weekend?