Took me a while to find it, but here are the lyrics to You Gotta Have heart. Wish I had the tune. We used to sing this song at camp when I was young.
HEART Eddie Fisher
(You gotta have heart, you gotta have heart)
You've gotta have heart All you really need is heart When the odds are sayin You'll never win That's when the grin should start
You've gotta have hope Mustn't sit around and mope Nothins half as bad as it may appear Wait'll next year and mope
When your luck is battin zero Get your chin up off the floor Mister you can be a hero You can open any door There's nothin to it but to do it
You gotta have heart Miles and miles and miles of heart Oh it's fine to be a genius of course But keep that old horse before the cart First you've gotta have heart
You've gotta have heart All you really need is heart (When the odds are sayin you'll never win That's when the grin should start)
You've gotta have hope Mustn't sit around and mope Nothins half as bad as it may appear Wait'll next year and mope
When your luck is battin zero Get your chin up off the floor Mister you can be a hero You can open any door There's nothin to it but to do it
You gotta have heart Miles and miles and miles of heart Oh it's fine to be a genius of course But keep that old horse before the cart First you've gotta have heart
Found a better version. The song is from the musical, Damn Yankees, about a guy who sells his soul to the devil to become a baseball phenomenon, and takes his team to victory over the Yankees. These are the full lyrics. It was not written by Eddie Fisher, but apparently he recorded a version of the song.
You gotta have heart All you really need is heart When the odds are saying you'll never win That's when the grin should start
You gotta have hope Mustn't sit around and mope Nothing's half as bad as it may appear Wait'll next year and hope
When your luck is battin' zero Get your chin up off the floor Mister, you can be a hero You can open any door There's nothing to it But to do it
You've gotta have heart Miles and miles and miles of heart Oh, it's fine to be a genius, of course But keep that old horse before the cart First, you gotta have heart
We're so happy that we're hummin' That's the hearty thing to do 'Cause we know our ship will come in So it's ten years overdue
So what the heck's the use of cryin' Why should we curse Things can only get better `Cause they can't get worse
And to add to it We've got heart We've got heart We've got heart
We've got heart All you really need is heart When the odds are sayin' you'll never win That's when the grin should start
We're so happy that we're laughin' That's the hearty thing to do So we ain't been autographin' 'Cept to sign an I.O.U.
We've got heart Miles 'n miles n' miles of heart Oh, it's fine to be a genius of course But keep that old horse before the cart
Who minds those pop bottles flyin'? The hisses and the boos The team has been consistent Yeah, we always lose
Thanks for posting to me. You are doing just fine. You have ups and downs, just like us. It is so interesting.
I see what you are saying about me doing things for me. I never do that. Never bought myself clothes or new shoes. Never just went out and did or me. WW does that. She needs that. Must be important to her for me to do the same.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
You are doing really well even though I think it's easy to get lost in the emotion... I think the more rational part of you knows this. You marriage will always have downs and hard times. That's normal. And the unknown will often *appear* better. That's why so many people throw away fine and normal for a tempting unknown (or something that currently appears and "feels" better). They just want so much they are willing to take a chance, even if expectations are unlikely to be met...
But maybe the mirage really will be better? Well, yes, maybe so... but then maybe the next mirage is even better. At what point is better good enough? Sometimes the best really is appreciating what we have in spite of the imperfections.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
What I might add is that both of you are quite tender right now and feel quite delicate emotion wise from the sounds of it. Either of you accidentally or pushing boundaries or expectations of each other is going to cause a LOT of upset at the moment.
Just keep exploring the good in every moment, keep doing things to be positive. Let every ray of sun in and enjoy that warmth. Keep talking wiht your husband.
If he's anything like me, he likely doesn't want any daunting questions right now like "how are you feeling right now" etc.
Will x make you more comfortable, will y make you at all uncomfortable etc...this is a more targeted approach that he can offer responses to.
Just try t ocomfort each other, and guide him to comfort you as well. If you want him to put his arms around you when you are watching tv do it FOR him and show him how good you feel...next time he will likley do it without the help.
He needs cautious, tender, compassionate guidance with no pressures for expectations or boundaries pressed to limits, you likley need the same.
its good if he was ok with the nightclub.. My self I would have been upset until you came home. It might take me a bit to explain, let me know if you are interested.
Anyhow he sounds as if it was ok with him, maybe if you were alone it might be diffrent.
But maybe the mirage really will be better? Well, yes, maybe so... but then maybe the next mirage is even better. At what point is better good enough? Sometimes the best really is appreciating what we have in spite of the imperfections.
That, and I gotta have heart ( Sara)!
Mark, he has mentioned the "expectations" he feels sometimes, so I have tried to get him to vocalize that to me so I can reassure him that I don't expect some of the things he thinks I do.
You are right. If I had gone out alone, he would have not liked that. He knows this friend and that is why he is ok with it. She likes him and I tell him that and that makes him feel good, too.
have you read the Michele W Davis: The Marriage Map ? Stage Three- Now is the time when many people face a fork in the marital road. Three choices become apparent. Convinced they've tried everything, some people give up. They tell themselves they've fallen out of love or married the wrong person and they divorce. Other people resign themselves to the status quo and decide to lead separate lives. But there are still others who decide that it's time to begin to investigate healthier and more satisfying ways of interacting. Although the latter option requires a major leap of faith, those who take this leap are the fortunate ones because the best of marriage is yet to come.
This sound like where you are at, I've said this before, your H is lucky to have you and we are lucky to have you here with us.
Lucky, Lucky, Lucky guy your H, he has you fighting, you are fighting the good fight, keep it up
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (walk away mom) 05/31/08
I am just miserable. Thank goodness S is with a sitter because I can't stop crying. We were out running errands and I ran into OM. He was with some other girl. He didn't see me at first, but he looked really good and I just stared at them. I felt so sad and soooo jealous! He then saw me and came up to me and looked really "pained". He introduced me to the girl and said it was his friend. He explained that they just do things together and that she knows how much he loves me with her right there. She left and he told me how he has never kissed her, they aren't like that, etc. etc. and he wants me to know that he still has hope for me because he knows that I don't love H. I couldn't even respond. S came over then and so I couldn't talk. I just said goodbye and left. I'm a complete mess right now. I'm second guessing what I'm doing. I don't think I'd be jealous if I saw my H with someone else!!!!!!! I don't have the same feelings for him as I do OM. Maybe I don't love my H enough. H has the things that make me feel safe and loved and taken care of and he'd do anything for me, OM gives me goosebumps and makes my heart flutter but is seriously financially a mess and has anger issues. I just can't stop crying. I am a mess!!!! Is there ever a time when you SHOULD leave a marriage? What are those times? These are very raw emotions here as I am typing. I need you guys!
Yes, in my opinion, there are times when you should leave a marriage. I would say that when a man abuses his wife or his kids, then the best option is to leave a marriage.
It is too bad that you live in the same town as OM and will run into him. I guess I should remind you that talking to him, even in a public place, breaks the no contact rule. Now you are a mess. Do you have an Individual Counselor? You need to talk to someone about your lack of sexual desire for your husband. You need to work through it and make your marriage a real marriage. Not a friendship relationship. I really think you miss the sexual relationship you had with OM. There's no reason you can't have one with your husband. But the fact is that you don't. And I don't believe the problem is all your husband's. You need to work through your problem. It is not going away by itself.
Sara)!