I had not talked about my marriage to anyone in a while. It has been a long time since I posted daily and in detail about every little thing that transpired. I stood down a long time ago.
And when I went and talked with my husband 10 days ago, I talked to him on my own - using my own words, my guts and the strength of my faith.
I posted about talking to him because I wanted to share.
Mostly because I was proud of myself for doing it.
I still am.
I'm not putting a time limit on this.
I did that the day I had the talk with him.
By now I guess I just need to do what I said I was going to do.
D12 texted me repeatedly one day last week about summer school transportation. She was really stressing about it and I had already determined how we'd pull it off when her dad goes back to work. I called H to let him know it was actually going to be rather easy for me to handle on the days he works. He acted glad that I called him and blah, blah, blah.....but she told me on the beach Saturday that after he hung up he started yelling at her for calling me and telling her that she "doesn't believe in" him.
That chaps my ass.
He lays his crap at her feet too much and I don't even know sometimes why I could still love a man that would do that. He never did it before - but then that's because he never attempted to PARENT before....
All that considered - he may never change. And maybe I'm just back to where I've been before - realizing I'm the only one that's changed... I just don't know. But when D12 tells me things like that - I don't even know who he is.
So why bother doing anything anymore except trying to stay connected with her?
