unless people have been on your exact same shoes they have not right nor voice to tell him to drop him. Of course it is easy to say this!! so, dont' listen to those negative voices, before they get any farther thank them for their concern and change the topic.

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The only thing is, I have ALWAYS been there for him, and always put myself out there. I feel like I should go dark sometimes. On the other hand, noww that the stress of the house is gone, he won't view me as the nagging wife anymore.

I also was the one always there for him, always trying to "save" him at my own expense". Minimizing contact when you think you are too clingy will help you.
And yes, now that he is alone he will face his own demons and realize, hopefully, that you werent' the source of all his ills.

Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.