Cautious optimism is a good thing…but I’ll cheer and be excited for you!
I know about fragile self esteem. Being in a troubled marriage can rock even the strongest self image. I have always been a very strong person, ironically I think when I became ill and “not strong” my husband lost who he was. He looked into my eyes and saw his own mortality.
I hate the partying crowd! I hate it when my H won’t return my calls, or worse would turn his phone off so it would go directly to voice mail. Nothing good happens when people stay out that late at night.
I also think you are being a bit hard on yourself. I can’t imagine what I would do if my H came home and admitted to making out with someone else, and asking for a D at the same time! He always said I was a master at one-upmanship. I never looked at it that way. I just always felt what was good for the goose was good for the gander. I don’t want two sets of rules, but then I also don’t do things that would hurt my H or comprise my integrity.
Our 10 yr. anniversary is this fall. I hope that we make it. We didn’t celebrate our 9th. He was getting ready to go north, and I was helping him pack for the big golf outing that was the introduction to (I believe) his EA. I even made a trip out to pick up a box of special golf balls for him. It was a big deal because I was between chemo and radiation and it was very tiring for me. I remember because when I brought them back he was not happy, thinking that I had picked up the wrong ones. As it turns out, he played the best golf in his life, and partied his a** off in the bar with his buddies and S, who I later learned just happened to be up there visiting family.
Oh well. I feel bad because I have my health back, and yet our lives are on hold because of this MLC. It’s like being given the secret to life, but not being able to communicate it to anyone. Or at least the people most important to you.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
