A Very Rough Year - Breast Cancer & MLC

[TwinDad]

It gives me forgiveness since I know it can happen, but boy does it hurt thinking he has those feelings for someone else.

There is a lot of truth in that. My EA started when my W came home one night 4-5 years ago at 3:30AM and told me we needed to get a D and that she had been out making out with another guy. I cowboyed-up (continueing the bull analogy) and took responsibility for my part in this and wanted to work on my M. What led to the EA was that she continued to go out and wouldn't answer any of my calls. It was pretty damaging to my self esteem and eventually I confided in someone and started to have talks. I was very confused about the whole situation and started to have feelings for this person but was uncertain about her view. My breakdown happened when I decided to confront my EA partner and tell her that I wanted to work on my M. She was shocked and told me that she had no feelings like that. So the breakdown was basically a realization that my self-esteem had gotten so low (I was always a very strong person) that I could misinterpret the kind words of another to such an extent.....it was really pretty crushing.

Ironically, admitting this to my W was actually the thing that got her to stop what she was doing. Apparently she was so scared at losing me that she decided to stop her actions and work on us.

Fastforward about 4 years and I start to see signs that my W is having an EA and how that has made me feel. This is the main reason I am in my current sitch. It has really been an eye opener as to what M is all about. Go figure it would only take me 11 years to figure out

The good news is today my W said she wanted to get away and said we didn't do anything for our 11 yr anniversary so she wanted for us to go on a trip I am keeping my cool and remaining caustiously optimistic.