Hi! Thanks for posting me. I think it was an excellent idea to repost and get more people's feedback.
"were talking about the same things that we fought about, and the C was saying a lot of the same things in regards to your insecurities about me talking to guys on the phone, the amount of time we spend together, etc." We stopped going at that point.
As in DB, I agree that a lot of C focus on a person's flaws and bring those to the forefront instead of focusing (and thereby strengthening) the strengths of each person in their partner's eyes.
Like I suggested, I don't like the idea of someone saying, "My counselor said I should do this..." Actually, I particularly don't like to hear a man say this. I think it makes you look weak because 1) it reminds your partner that you need therapy and 2) that you need to listen to do what someone else tells you you need to do. It's just not very masculine or attractive.
I'm not saying not to go to your C if you find her helpful. I have just in my experience found a lot of C's to milk people's (and thereby strengthen) people's insecurities by focusing so much on them as well as making them feel like they need this C in order to take a step.
I definitely recommend NOT suggesting to your W to start going to therapy.
