Sara, thank you for checking in on me, I'm so mad, I don't know why God is making me go through all of this. W comes over to the house before the kids get up and its just me and her, she looked so beautiful this morning, I kept the conversation to a minimum and left for work early just to get away from her, because it hurts so bad to be with her. I didn't say goodbye to her this morning, I said I'm leaving, call if you have any questions.
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whatdidido: She will realize her mistake. I just hope it is not too late. I remember the happiness at first, too. I felt good because I was no longer sneaking around (it was now "ok" in my mind because we were separated) and I still had my son and house all day. You are right that she won't "feel" it until she doesn't see the kids and she has to work. She needs to lose something.
Thanks whatdidido, for validating my thoughts, she hasn't lost anything yet, she hasn't had to support herself yet, she is living in a fantasy world. She is at home all day with the kids. I don't know if she will ever come back, or if I'll ever be able to forgive her for what she has done to me.
She keeps asking about coming over to take the kids to school every morning. As I stated in prior post, I told her no, I didn't want to see her everyday, she said I wouldn't have to see her, she would just pull up to the house and wait for the kids to come out. I told her no again and told her not to keep pushing me on this issue.
1. I do not want to see her everyday. 2. I don't want to wait on her to show up, I did this too many times, wait for her to be somewhere she said she would, then having to call her to find out where she is at. 3. I want to keep the kids on a set schedule, we will have specific things to do every morning and we will leave every morning at a set time. 4. there is no reason for her to do this, I have to leave for work the same time kids need to be dropped off, so I'll drop them off and head straight to work. 5. she isn't doing me any favors by taking them to school, now watch them on a Friday night while I go out, now that would be a favor.
I really don't want to see her everyday, she can have the kids anytime she wants (non-school night) and I've told her this on several occasions. It will be great for me to drop them off on a Friday night so I can go out with my friends.
Once the kids are in school fulltime, and she is working to support herself, she will have to make choices, what she can afford to buy, how she wants to divide up her time, between me time, time with the kids, time with OM and time for work. This will be painful for her; this is when reality sets in, not seeing her kids everyday and having to make choices about what she can afford and how to divide up her time.
I'm not a religious person, since this has all started, I have reflected more, I have looked to the Bible for inspiration and guidance, I keep posting why God is doing this to all of us, it's not God, its the weak individuals who we married that are doing this to us. God gives us the strength to try to work on our marriage, God gives us the strength to deal with our WAS, keep praying everyone, for me, for whatdidido, for Sara, for karen, kat, hopeful4her, germ, cbk, and everyone else here, pray that God continues to give us strength, patience and love. We all need love, to be loved, to be wanted. Someday I'll find love again
James 1:13-15 (New Living Translation) And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, "God is tempting me." God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.
I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. Not just to W and kids, but to everyone I know and meet. This is me, this is how I want to live my life, this may not be the best course of action to save a marriage, but its the best way to live my life
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08
