For the Guy with Kids and a WW4

[hopeful4her]

Ok, question.

Who is the beneficiary of the loving detachment? Is it for WW or for me?

Isn't detaching like pushing her away? Why am I doing this if I'm trying to win her or keep her? By maintaining and building on our friendship, shouldn't that give me more of a shot. I accept that we are not currently husband and wife in her mind. I accept that she currently wants to leave to see the other side.

I have said many times in this thread that I forgive WW for having the affair. I accept the part that I played in her getting to that point. I DO NOT accept direct responsibility FOR the affair. Do I want her to stop seeing the OM? Of course I do. As I have heard before, WAS's feel like it is not the OP that is the problem, they were not happy before OP came into the picture. But like Puppy says, they are currently the direct reason why they choose to stop working on the M. I know that if OM is not in the picture, possibilities are endless. Especially in my sitch.

I did say the words to WW on Sunday when I brought up OM.

If she is NOT my best friend or feel like she never could be, then why would I want her as a wife? Why fight for her? I did not come here to find ways to get over her. I came here to help me figure out ways to win her back. I DO want her as my best friend. Yes, she has hurt me. MUCHO.

I cannot be emotionaly detached from WW. I have tried to detach as best that I can for my sitch. If WW was not in the house, it would be way easier. I do not WANT her out of the house.

Although similar to many on here, my sitch seems to be a little different to most. I think ya'll see it, too.

It could be me that doesn't "see" it. I admit this.

Sometimes things don't read well or are interpreted differently than what it is. Like the guy that thought I had anger management issues or others that read that I am unable to control my emotions. Sure I get upset sometimes. I consider this normal. Part of WW and my problem is that we never let our feelings be understood to each other. I held everthing in. Just like Puppy said he used to do, we did the same. Kept things in so that we didn't hurt each others feelings.

The advise from others, how bad is their sitch? Already divorced? Seperated? Is WW still home? Is DB working FOR their sitch? I understand that it can help me individually. Helps to take care of me, in either way it turns out.

Sorry, I am just rambling.

Not meaning to GET on anyone here. I do appreciate all posts and advise. I just have to sort through myself.