he's going to take my child away

[Connie44]

I'm so sorry to hear this is happening. I have been following most of your story, but haven't posted much as I am kind of new to DB and didn't really know what to offer in way of advice--

I grew up with a social worker mother and taught elementary school-- a weird outfit, even a "shortish" one, is NOT going to cause you to lose custody-- I agree with others on here-- H is causing harm to D by taking your transportation, messing with her routine/arranged times, causing her to miss appts. this week etc. thats not even mentioning the money sitch he is putting you and her in-- He is NOT thinking of her and I think a judge will see that.

[Connie44]

I'm so sorry to hear this is happening. I have been following most of your story, but haven't posted much as I am kind of new to DB and didn't really know what to offer in way of advice--

I grew up with a social worker mother and taught elementary school-- a weird outfit, even a "shortish" one, is NOT going to cause you to lose custody-- I agree with others on here-- H is causing harm to D by taking your transportation, messing with her routine/arranged times, causing her to miss appts. this week etc. thats not even mentioning the money sitch he is putting you and her in-- He is NOT thinking of her and I think a judge will see that.

[Sara]

MaryAngela,

You did very well today. The judge already is doubting your H, and time is on your side. It gives you time to have his allegations found groundless. If he mailed the keys back to you, how did he take the car? Could it be that he did not mail the keys? Did he lie about that? I'm sure your lawyer will take care of everything and your daughter will be home soon.

[inmyplace]

Hang in there, maryangela. Whatever you do, be strong. Be confidence in the motherly care you have provided to your daughter. And please do not let your emotions get in the way on your business. The long and short of it is that the most important thing for you is your child's well-being and your well-being. Let your attorney take care of business. Just be strong.

IMP

[DiDi]

Thinking about you this morning and hoping you're having a better day.

Is your dad still with you?

[fig]

I have never posted to you before but your title caught my attention.

My 1st husband tried these tactics as well

I was being treated for depression and had actually been hospitalized years before I had children.

He tried those things too
and
i was afraid

I gave him everything he asked because I was afraid of losing my boys

if I knew then what I know now, it never would have gone down that way...he can not use the fact that you are on ADs against you. Hold your head up. Believe in yourself. Tell the truth

hang in there

(((((((hugs)))))))

[spark]

really? you are giving me hope. social services was here yesterday and it went well, I just don't know what else h has up his sleeve and basically it's up to the judge.

this is so f'ing scary

[spark]

fig -- how did you find out the truth after the fact?

Mary

[NikB]

(((Mary)))

I'm so sorry. What an a$$ your H is being right now.

PLEASE do not let him blackmail you with the whole AD thing. There are thousands and thousands of good parents on ADs - I don't even know the stats on AD sales but I know there are a lot.

I've been worried for awhile he was trying to build a "mental health" case against you. If I remember right from the brief online search I did, that was the only thing he could probably use as grounds for HIM to file. When I saw that I got worried, but hoped he would not go down that path. Can you ask your L more about this? Your L's info would be far more reliable than my attempt to interpret something off the internet that may or may not be accurate, but this is why I was so worried about that incident when you confronted him at his place - afraid he'd try to use it against you.

I think your VERY best course of action right now is to remain calm, cool, collected, and confident that you are a wonderful Mom to your D.

And, are you documenting everything and making sure your lawyer has a clear picture of each thing he's done? In particular:

- Sending her out of state
- Making her miss school (if she did)
- Making her miss her counseling appointment on Monday
- Taking your keys (and later your car)
- Locking the thermostat so you couldn't adjust it
- Blackmailing you with the 401K money (I know this one is not specifically about your D, but when this didn't work I suspect he decided to use your D against you).

... I'm sure there's more.

If anything, at this point, I think you're looking like the only sane parent. Granted we're only hearing the story from your side, but the stuff your H has done is really over the top. I think the fact that you are TREATING and taking care of your depression is going to speak volumes to the judge - FAR more than your H, who frankly is acting mentally ill and NOT getting treated.

Please make sure you are passing EVERYTHING on to your lawyer and that your lawyer is bringing it up to the judge. Are there other red flags that you're remembering now? Pass those on, too.

((((Mary))))

I honestly think that you're likely to not only get at least 50/50 custody of your D, I think you're in a good position to end up with PRIMARY custody if your H keeps this crap up.

[Kalni]

maryangela,

jsut caught up on your sitch. I am very sorry this is happening to you. Stay strong. You get good advice here. I hope your dad helps you out.
Take care
Kalni