Moving Forward 3

[lodo]

Update. Feeling overwhelmed with life, with love - or lack thereof. With loneliness. I'm okay - I'll be okay. I'm healing and GALing and staying busy. But ...

Sent my revisions to the D agreement today. Forgot some stuff but oh well. W gets what she wants - I'm staying on the mortgage.

She emailed back and asked if I wanted to go to lunch at the end of the week. I reminded her I'm going to Montana. She replied that she was totally free next week. Haven't answered yet, but have to wonder what she's working towards. Either she misses our conversation or she has some other bomb to drop. I feel myself going darker and darker, though that wasn't my intention.

lodo

[LL44]

You are going darker, so she is reaching out. Classic. Answer her and tell her you'll get with her when you get back in town.

I feel the overwhelmed thing too, about everything. UGH

Hugs!

[gForce]

I agree with lwb. I bet she doesn't drop another bomb. It might even be weird - that she really wants to get together - but the actual get-together might seem strangely bland. Keep up what you are doing. She is noticing. The fog may lift yet. The pod person may wither and die. Patience.

[WCW]

Hey lodo, sorry about the overwhelming feelings. It comes and goes for a long time but yes! you'll be okay.

Here's my take on W wanting to do lunch - it's her birthday, you're not going to her party, she still wants to get her present from you!!

If I were you and not going to the party then I wouldn't offer a present, just a card. That's life without you. Sucks to be her.

[lodo]

lol - i actually thought the same thing.

Truthfully, though, I think it's that she misses our conversations and she doesn't feel like a good person, so she acts like a "friend" to assuage her guilt. IMO. But who knows.

[gForce]

Ohhh, forgot about the birthday. I'm sure that is a factor, too.

Hey, lodo, M from Tenn said you had something for me?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

lol - i actually thought the same thing.

Truthfully, though, I think it's that she misses our conversations and she doesn't feel like a good person, so she acts like a "friend" to assuage her guilt. IMO. But who knows.

STAY DARK. Tell her you'll talk to her when you get back. Be cheerful.

Puppy

[lodo]

Hey g,

M from Tenn did ask me about telling you something, but I told him it wasn't suitable to post on the boards. Sorry.

Hey Pup, that's what I'll do.

lodo

[lodo]

W just left my office. She "dropped by" a piece of mail that didn't forward for some reason. Then she needed to tell me all the fun and interesting things she's doing. She also invited me to her choir concert, though who knows if OM would be there - he certainly will be at her party. And she wanted to know about the stuff I have going on. I acted cheerful and busy and eventually said I had to get back to work.

Anyway, we chatted in the usual amicable way. W left and my office mate turned to me and said, "Okay, that's just weird. She's divorcing you and you guys can talk like that? I don't think she knows WHAT she wants."

I agree, but don't necessarily think she's missing me - just trying to be friends. Who knows. Not me anymore. So DB would tell me to be the good friend, but it also says to pay attention to what works and what has worked has been the LRT and going dark. But if I keep doing that to hold onto hope for reconciliation with W, I'm denying my own chance to move on and heal.

Confused and venting. lodo

[kat727]

But you are also doing it to give yourself some peace and some clarity. The getting back together would be an ultimate prize. I think you will be healing fine during going dark.
kat