Is He Really Happier?

[Florie]

Good crime analogy! I actually blew up at my husband a couple of weeks ago because he stayed out all night and then came home late when I was expecting him at a certain time for our dog so I could go out. I told him it was disrespectful, mean and he was rubbing it in my face. I said I thought I was being pretty accomodating but at least until he finds a place he was acting ridiculous. He agreed that it had been disrespectful and asked me what was acceptable. I know he will lie and say he is out with friends if I just banned him from her so I just said staying out all night was what bothered me the most because I am not stupid and know where he is and what is going on. He has not stayed out all night since (or gone out much either oddly), but was out until 2pm or so this weekend. I was out until midnight that night too with friends so it wasn't as bothersome to me. I really am trying to move on because he obviously is. It is hard with him in the house, but I know he is looking for a place so as much as I will hate it, it probably will be easier when he moves out.

I like the telling of the H that he needs to get out if he wants to build a life with someone else. I may resort to more of those tactics if he doesn't find a place soon. I know by giving him a curfew or demands now though it will just make him feel like I am trying to hold on and justify his feeling of being 'trapped'. Plus he would probably just lie to get around it.

Side note, Sunday I went out and didn't tell him when I was coming back. I was with a friend until about 11pm and had a lot of fun. Before I left I asked him how his run had been (it has been pretty much silent treatment between us and I wanted to break the ice a little) - he suddenly was VERY chatty about his day, his run etc. I ended the conversation and left for my friend's house. Monday he emailed me and asked if I wanted him to pick up groceries for me. It was a very sterile email, but he has not emailed me about anything other than realtors and separation logistics for weeks so it was a little different. We ate dinner together last night in front of the tv (i had a lot of extra so offered). No deep conversations, but we don't eat together anymore so that was out of the ordinary as well. I still feel like he is definitely trying not to give me any hope with the way he talks and is most of the time. That's all for now :o)