I wish that I had been stronger in my faith. It was absent from my life from the time I was an early teen until very recently, and I struggle with it. I lost faith due to things growing up, and felt like stbx rescued me from that. In a warped sense, my faith had been in my stbx and my marriage--I didn't need anything else.
I think having faith in a Higher Power is having faith in yourself...a quiet side that compliments and supports self-esteem. Again, a struggle. I have learned so much about the whys for that, but it comes down to believing.....
I can know these things intellectually, but that doesn't seem to easily transfer over to my emotional well-being.
So, I am tired now. This is a high-stress time at work, grad school is looming over my head, the yard has awokened and threatens to get completely out of control, all the kids' activities are coming to a head.......now I understant my dad's desire to go live in a cave (a half-joke). But I am getting through it, a minute at a time. There are many more minutes that are ok, than ones that aren't. It actually feels good to get caught up in the mundane....
