Ya know I have been thinking. ( which I should probobly stop) I wonder why H told me that it bothers him that OW doesn't talk to him anymore. He hasn't even really admitted to anything and all of the sudden he tells me this then says he's sorry that im'e hearing it, that I didn't need or deserve to hear it.
Makes me wonder why.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I hear ya Mat but thats the thing is it post OW really. I don't think so in H's eyes. She still is an issue that he needs to deal with and put behind him. THought he would have been able to after this long.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Have you been through a retro? Like you said you and I are in the same sitch some times. It sounds like you and your H need to bring the OW out of the shadows and talk it out. Just like I think my W and I need to also. What I feel is I need to make it W and me against the world again. Not Wife I and OM. I will need her to cut off totally in front of me. I do not think the OM is an issue really. But it is the act of shunning him for me that will help me move on... understand? It’s kind of like saying “Ok if you don’t care about it spit on it”.
I think I need to see something not just hear the words...
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
No I have not been to retro. H will not do anything counceling Dr.'s and Retro.
All I need is a verbal he's ok and to feel it is done. Right now I can feel that he is still connected to the thought of her. He says she wont even talk to him so good for her.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Jak, have you read any books about dealing with the aftermath....isn't there an book called After the Affair? Wonder if something like that would help both you and your H deal with the ow. It wasn't something I could ever understand either!!!
Try to put it aside and get back on your positive mode of thought!!! (((JAK)))