Quiet and erflective is a good thing....it means he is actually thinking about thinks instead of "running". I have certainly had my moments of hopelessness.
In my M my W has had a lot of resentment towards me and in particular considered me to be passive aggressive and very controlling. When it came to time to move I had two choices. I could have gone completely dark and not helped her at all. I had always been there for her and did most of the day to day organizing things for her, or I could decide to be her friend and help her move.
I basically decided to help her move but not do everything. Basically to let her expereince a little of the unpleasantries of moving and daya to day organizing, but steping in to help when it was needed. I think she was able to appreciate the things I did but then was also able to see that I loved her enough to not let her hang out in the wind. I think if I went completely dark at that time that she would have had a very difficult time at first but then would have likely just got ticked off at me and this would have just galvanized her decision to separate in the first place thinking "see he didn't really love me afterall, if he did he would have helped me move"
I will say I experimented a little in the beginning of the move with going dark and the results were very combatitive, so I adjusted. Last night I was out with her and her friends, and a coupe of her friends told me that "she wants you back big time". So something must be going right.
I think the important thing is to try something and evaluate, just like the DB books say
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
