First of all, take time....however much you need, to figure out what it is you want. You may want to write down a list of pros and cons.....but no matter how long the list of cons are.....if at the bottom you say you still love him, that can withstand a lot. You talk as if you are leaving everything entirely up to him when you speak of needing closure, etc. What do you want? I certainly wouldn't want to live with a man that is disrepectful and mean to me (I wouldn't live with a man like that!), but have you any idea what made him change? Did he sort of marry his job.....or as they say, did his job become his mistress? Is he under a terrible amount of stress every day? That can make a man mean when he comes home. Have you seen a difference in the bedroom? Does he show any affection toward you at all? If you were like separated but under the same roof for quite some time, then I gather these things weren't happening and he didn't make any moves to change that. When you moved out......it probably did sting his pride.
I think no contact on your part is the first step while you are figuring out just what it is you want to do with your life. Then when you know your own mind and heart, we can talk more. But, I think that is the first thing to do. I know you must feel very confused right now and the pain is clouding the thought process for you. That is why you need time. Please don't run up and get a D. I don't understand why couples do that so fast without giving it time and each other some space. If you think he is involved with another woman, then we can approach it from that POV. But, first things, first.
Take care, and I'll talk with you later.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
