h4h, my heart goes out to you as I have been where you are. You are trying so hard to preserve something out of what is left by keeping her as your best friend despite feeling you are losing her as a W. I too wanted to maintain as cordial a R with my W as we still had a family to raise together. The last thing you want is all the BS to hurt the kids any more than it has to. But the reality is she will not be your best friend for a long time, if ever again. You also need to realize that a best friend would not betray you! Is that who you really want as your best friend? Think about it. You have alot of righteous anger inside you, it is such an incredibly devastating thing to be betrayed by the person you've pledged your love to forever more. You deserve better than a "best friend" that would do that to you. It's so tough to deal with, I know. I wish I could give you more right now but just remember that you will have blowouts with her, your emotions will win sometimes and that's not necessarily a bad thing, just don't let it become dominant. She should feel your hurt sometimes, but it's a tough balance to maintain. There were times I just let my unfaithful S have it with both barrels and she damn well deserved it, but then I went back to doing my best to do what was right for my kids and myself. I once told her "you will not make me someone I do not want to be". I refused to let the anger take over but, you know what, she ain't gonna be my best friend ever again! I deserve better as do you.
